


Drabble Challenge

by inqwex



Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2019-11-19 00:06:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 53
Words: 5,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18128315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inqwex/pseuds/inqwex
Summary: Unrelated and non-sequential. Initially based on 'the things you said' prompts posted by moreorlesCh 51-53 are some post Lucas angst.





	1. things you said at 1am

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moreorles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moreorles/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on these prompts from moreorles. I'm doing them in order for now - so chapter number matches prompt number. That may change...  
> 1\. things you said at 1 am  
> 2\. things you said through your teeth  
> 3\. things you said too quietly  
> 4\. things you said over the phone  
> 5\. things you didn’t say at all  
> 6\. things you said under the stars and in the grass  
> 7\. things you said while we were driving  
> 8\. things you said when you were crying  
> 9\. things you said when i was crying  
> 10\. things you said that made me feel like shit  
> 11\. things you said when you were drunk  
> 12\. things you said when you thought i was asleep  
> 13\. things you said at the kitchen table  
> 14\. things you said after you kissed me  
> 15\. things you said with too many miles between us  
> 16\. things you said with no space between us  
> 17\. things you said that I wish you hadn’t  
> 18\. things you said when you were scared  
> 19\. things you said when we were the happiest we ever were  
> 20\. things you said that i wasn’t meant to hear  
> 21\. things you said when we were on top of the world  
> 22\. things you said after it was over  
> 23\. things you said [make your own]  
> 24\. things you said when we were alone  
> 25\. things you said in front of other people  
> 26\. things you said in writing  
> 27\. things you said through a closed door  
> 28\. things you said in the dark  
> 29\. things you said in the rain  
> 30\. things I wish you’d said  
> 31\. things you said right before goodbye  
> 32\. things you said right after hello  
> 33\. things you said from across the room  
> 34\. things you whispered in my ear  
> 35\. things you said at the top of your lungs  
> 36\. things you said but didn’t mean  
> 37\. things you said through someone else  
> 38\. things you said when I was (you were) sick  
> 39\. things you forgot to say  
> 40\. things you interrupted me to say

“You’re up late,” Jack says brusquely from the doorway of the dayroom, and Vic looks over her book at him.

“So are you,” she points out. She hesitates, before shrugging. “I had a nightmare.”

He’s afraid to ask, but kind of wants to.

“You remember the blue fire? Sometimes I dream I’m still trapped,” Vic says quietly.

“I know the feeling,” Jack admits despite himself, sitting himself on the couch next to her. “What are you reading?”

“Crime and Punishment,” she replies. Jack raises an eyebrow in surprise. “It was loaned to me.”

“Mr Hypothetical?” he asks, and she blushes.


	2. things you said through your teeth

“I am never having sex again,” she says, gritting her teeth as another wave of pain hits.

“When you’ve had the baby you’ll change your mind,” Travis assures her.

“Ew,” says Dean, standing awkwardly near the door.

“Neither of you have had kids! Where the hell is the man responsible for all this?!” Vic shouts, gripping Travis’ hand tighter.

“What’ve I missed?” Lucas bursts into the delivery room.

“She’s never having sex again,” Travis says, straight-faced. Lucas doesn’t blink, and simply brushes the hair out of her face.

“Okay,” he says, briefly pressing his lips to hers. “I love you.”


	3. things you said too quietly

“I’m sorry,” Jack says, but Dean’s already slammed his bedroom door.

Jack sighs, looking at the detritus of dinner across the kitchen table. He starts packing the dishes into the dishwasher, and leaves the big lasagne tray to soak in the sink. Once he’s wiped the benches, he grabs a beer from the fridge and goes outside.

The cap clatters across the deck as he sinks into one of the chairs and stares across the water.

He tries not to think about how upset Dean had looked as his family had stormed out after he’d refused to quit firefighting again.


	4. things you said over the phone

“I haven’t heard from you in ages,” Jennifer doesn’t bother with preliminaries. “What’s going on?”

“Hi to you too, sis,” Lucas chuckles. “How are the kids?”

“They’re good. So what’s going on with you?” Jennifer doesn’t let it slide.

“Oh you know, work,” he says, trying to sound casual. There’s a pregnant pause.

“And?”

“I … her name is Victoria,” it sort of spills out. “I’ve been seeing her for a bit.”

“Vic-TOR-iaaaah,” Jen sing-songs teasingly and Lucas is glad she can’t see him blush. “How long is ‘a bit’?”

“Couple of months?”

“HOW ARE YOU ONLY JUST TELLING ME THIS?!”


	5. things you didn't say at all

He wasn’t on scene when the roof collapsed, but she knows Lucas will blame himself. As the honour guard for the fallen firefighter disperses, she makes eye contact with him and jerks her head towards A19.

Vic only has to wait a couple of minutes in the back of the ambulance before he joins her. She wraps her arms around him. Their helmets clack together, and he takes a shuddering breath. She holds him tightly for a few moments, then lets go, gently touching his cheek. He smiles weakly, takes a deep breath, and disappears back out to the scene.


	6. things you said under the stars and in the grass

The fire’s down to embers. Lucas has eschewed the tent, sleeping mats, and sleeping bags to lie down on the grass, staring up at the sky. She rolls her eyes, stows her toiletries in the tent, and lies down next to him.

“Whatcha doing, Scruffy?” she greets, sliding a cold hand under his shirt. His stomach tenses.

“Watching the stars,” he replies dreamily. She smiles, leans over, and kisses him softly.

“I can still see them,” he says, eyes still shut as she draws back. She giggles. His eyes flutter open and he gazes at her.

“Still can,” he whispers.


	7. things you said while we were driving

“So things progressed with you and Mr Hypothetical?” Vic isn’t too sure what to make of Jack’s question, so she simply shrugs. “I thought for sure that would’ve fallen apart ages ago.”

“I know,” Vic admits. Every time she thinks about it, she’s surprised he’s still around. That he still wants to be with _her_.

“You in love or something?” Gibson asks bluntly and Vic chokes.

“What?” she splutters. “It’s early. Too soon. He’s…I mean… I… in love with him?!”

“You missed the turn,” Jack points out, squinting out the window.

Vic grits her teeth.


	8. things you said when you were crying

“I’m sorry,” Travis said, sniffling hard. “I don’t know why I’m so – this is ridiculous.”

Vic simply tightened her embrace. “Because it’s the anniversary of the death of the love of your life and your husband?”

“I just…it’s been two years,” he sobbed. “Why does it still hurt like this?”

“I don’t have a husband,” Vic said slowly. “But I think…I mean…if Lucas…”

Travis drew back slightly to see her face.

“Wait are you saying he’s the _love of your life_?” he asked incredulously.

“It’d take me more than a couple of years to get over it,” she deflected, blushing.


	9. things you said when i was crying

Andy felt a little embarrassed at bursting into tears just as Warner dumped Elle. Maya paused the movie, and Andy watched as she exchanged a glance with Vic.

“What’s wrong?” Vic said with a sigh, reaching for her bottle of vodka.

“Men are so…ugh. Ryan wants things to be _casual_. So, like, we can ‘see other people’,” Andy waved her beer, spilling some. “What the fuck is that?”

“Men are the worst,” Maya agreed easily.

“Not all – I mean, statistically there must be some nice ones,” Vic said, hastily correcting herself.

“Did you seriously just nearly ‘not all men’ me?!”


	10. things you said that made me feel like shit

“Not all of us spend our nights in the Chief’s bed that allow us access to that information,” Maya knows she sounds catty as the words leave her mouth and she regrets it immediately.

Vic flinches like she’s been slapped.

“Hey,” Travis snaps, but Vic holds up a hand.

“Actually, it was in a department email,” she replies coldly. “And so much for women supporting women, hey.”

“I’m sorry,” Maya calls as Vic walks away, flanked by Travis.

Vic turns, but continues to walk backwards as she says, “for the record, he spends most of his nights in _my_ bed.”


	11. things you said when you were drunk

Lucas takes a deep breath, before pushing the door open. Truthfully, he’s exhausted, and just wants to sleep after the day he’s had.

But Vic had asked him to come to team drinks and, well…

“Luke!” she beams at him, and his heart lightens.

And then she kisses him very enthusiastically and all he can taste is vodka.

“How much have you had to drink?” he can’t hide his amusement, nor his blush as Montgomery waggles his eyebrows meaningfully at him from behind her.

“You’re not going to be a party pooper are you?” she pouts, draping herself over him.


	12. things you said when you thought I was asleep

It was funny how just a week of him being away (at a conference on the other side of the country) made Vic realise how used to having him there she was when she wasn’t working.

He’d driven straight from the airport to her apartment, and kissed her like a starving man.

“I missed you,” she’d whispered into his ear as their clothes were flying off.

Now, she was mostly asleep, his tall frame curled around her, his arm a comfortably heavy weight around her waist.

“I love you,” Lucas murmured, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck.


	13. things you said at the kitchen table

Dean blinked blearily awake as the smell of bacon frying filled the air. He stumbled out of his room to find Jack standing at the stove, hair a mess, and two cups of fresh coffee on the kitchen bench.

“Morning,” Jack said cheerily. Dean eyed him suspiciously.

“What?”

“Have breakfast,” Jack ordered, pushing a plate with eggs towards him and dumping the freshly cooked bacon onto it.

“Is this your way of apologising?” Dean asked tartly.

“Is it working?” his friend grinned hopefully.

Dean sighed. “We still need to talk,” he grumbled, shovelling a mouthful of breakfast into his mouth.


	14. things you said after you kissed me

Andy’s not entirely sure who initiated the kiss, but she’s planning on prolonging it. Sullivan’s so tall she’s up on her tip-toes and he’s almost bent in half. His lips are warm and soft.

The thought of Ryan pops into her head and she tries to push the guilt away.  _He_  was the one who suggested they could see other people after all. But deep down she thinks he didn’t mean it.

She notices Sullivan has become more hesitant as well and they draw back from each other flushed.

“This was a mistake–” he says, looking away. The alarm goes.


	15. things you said with too many miles between us

“I said the money was clean,” his dad’s familiar voice filters down the home phone. Ryan grimaces.

“What did you expect me to do?” he hisses. “You don’t think they’re not tracking Mom’s bank account? That that much money would be unnoticed?”

“Make sure they give it back to you. It is clean, I promise. I want the house paid off for Mom.”

“Why are you calling, dad?” Ryan asks, exasperated.

There's a long pause. 

"You and Mom okay?"

"Yeah." Another pause. "How are you?"

“What is it, 60 seconds to trace calls? Take care, Ryan.”

The line goes dead.


	16. things you said with no space between us

“You really shouldn’t be here,” Vic murmured into his chest as her tears subsided, leaving a damp patch on his white undershirt.

“You were upset,” he replied gently.

“If someone catches you –”

“Who’s going to come up to the roof at this hour?” Lucas pointed out, caressing the arm she’d wrapped around his chest.

“True,” she snuggled closer, trying to have as much of her body on his warm one. Despite the blanket he’d stolen from downstairs to lay out on the cold tiles, the hard ground was still uncomfortable. “How long can you stay?”

“All night if you want.”


	17. things you said that I wish you hadn't

“You two went _biking_ together?” Vic asks incredulously as they walk into her kitchen. Her eyes drift over Lucas’ spandex-clad form.

“Cycling. Montgomery invited me the other day,” Lucas replied. “Assumed you wouldn’t mind him coming over for breakfast.”

“Course not,” she swallows hard, gaze glued to Lucas who obliviously starts making coffee.

“How come you mock me, not him?” Travis objects.

“He’s so _hot_ ,” she’s practically drooling. “Is the spandex difficult to take off?”

“If you’d rather bang him than have breakfast I can go?” Travis offers.

“I’m standing _right_ here,” Lucas wants the ground to swallow him whole.


	18. things you said when you were scared

“What happens now?”

They’re sitting in the waiting room of the HR office and Vic can’t stop fidgeting. Lucas puts his hand over hers.

“They’ll ask us questions. Just be honest.”

“What if we get fired?”

“You won’t,” he said with certainty. “They never fire the employee.”

“But your job-” the words die in her mouth as she looks up at him. There’s tension around his eyes and he looks tired but he flashes her a smile.

“Whatever happens, this is worth it. For however long you want to be with me, this is worth it. I have no regrets.”


	19. things you said when we were the happiest we ever were

Her dad still smelled of smoke as she wrapped her arms around his waist but Andy didn’t care.

“Papa!” she exclaimed. “Look what I drew you in school yesterday?”

“She’s been up since four this morning waiting,” her mom says, leaning over Andy to kiss him quickly.

“Papa, come on!” she drags him into the living room, and points at the couch. He sits down, and she proudly turns the large sheet of paper on the coffee the right way over. “That’s you as Fire Captain, that’s Station 19, that’s me as a firefighter, and that’s Mommy cooking us pancakes!”


	20. things you said that I wasn't meant to hear

“I refer you to the official statement which notes that the personal lives of our officers when they are off duty are private. I also refer you to the statement released by the Human Relations Department of Seattle Council emphasising the importance of respecting the privacy of all our firefighters in their personal lives,” Kim says. “Off the record, Chief Ripley is an honourable, kind, professional man. I’m proud to work for him. Thank you, good-bye.”

“Work _with_ me,” her boss corrects when she’s off the phone. She looks up to see him in his doorway. “Thanks, Kim.”

“Anytime, sir.”


	21. things you said when we were on top of the world

“What about this?” she steps out of the changing room.

“You look amazing,” Lucas says, again, because she does.

She rolls her eyes. “Is it too short? I think it is.”

“Uhhh-” he shrugs.

Twenty minutes later, the girls have arrived, advised, and she’s finally bought a dress.

“Thanks, girls, he was useless,” she snarks.

“You look beautiful in everything,” Lucas shrugs.

Maya sighs. “It’s the first time she’s your date to an SFD event.”

“She’s nervous she’ll embarrass you,” Andy adds.

“Andy!”

Lucas stops, spinning Vic to face him. “You could never embarrass me. I’m so proud of you.”


	22. things you said after it was over

Her wrist’s still broken, so Travis drives her to HQ.

“How can I help you?” his PA asks, eyeing the lack of rank on their uniforms.

“Is he free?” Vic asks. “My name’s Victoria Hughes.”

The expression on her face changes immediately. “I’m Kim, it’s so nice to finally meet you, Victoria. I’m so glad about the HR decision,” she smiles, picking up the phone. “Sir, I need you out here.”

His door opens, and Lucas lights up when he sees her.

“I love you,” they say simultaneously.

“Ugh, they’re so romcom,” Travis observes to Kim as the two embrace.


	23. things you said [make your own] through song

“I’m out of toothpicks,” Lucas groans, looking at his hand.

“I’ll let you match my bet if you promise to serenade someone if you lose,” Robert teases Lucas, winking at Vic.

Predictably, Lucas loses. Robert hands him a guitar.

“You play _guitar_?!” Vic is clearly surprised.

“Not well,” Lucas demurs.

“You didn’t know?” Robert asks.

“I knew he could sing and play piano,” she replies.

“Now serenade!” Robert orders, settling back with the team to watch Vic and Luke squirm with embarrassment.

“You got a friend in me,” Lucas sings instead, looking right at Robert. He tries not to flush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Randy Newman - You Got A Friend In Me


	24. things you said when we were alone

“Thank you,” Vic says as he’s still recovering his breath. “For not serenading me.”

“I try to not embarrass you.”

“What would you have sung?” she props her head up on her elbow. “Serenade me now, Luke.”

He hums, grins goofily and sings, “we’re no strangers to loooooove-”

“You ass,” she shoves him playfully. “Really? You’re RickRolling me?”

“You are my fire-” he’s laughing.

“Lucas!” she giggles back.

“I’m falling even more in love with you.” Vic melts at the sincerity in his eyes. “What’ll you sing me?”

“I’ll make love to you,” she croons, and his lips meet hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up  
> Backstreet Boys - I Want It That Way  
> Lifehouse - Hanging By A Moment  
> Boys II Men - I'll Make Love To You


	25. things you said in front of other people

“You seem nervous,” Vic remarked, squeezing his hand.

“It’s the first time that I’m having dinner with your team as your plus one,” he replied, looking at her. He frowned. “You don’t.”

She led him into Dean’s house without bothering to knock. “I’m not nervous. I’m happy,” she said, ignoring the hush in her team’s conversation as they entered. She hung her coat up. “I mean, it’ll be fine, everyone knows I love you.” Vic kissed him sweetly.

“Oh,” Lucas was unable to think of anything else to say. He hung his coat over hers, and laced their fingers together.


	26. things you said in writing

It’s been a while since I journaled. Between work and L I’ve been a bit busy.

Just, L is a busy guy. Like, his job’s super important. But it makes me feel I need to fight for his time, and that I should take advantage of when he’s free. ~~I think I might love him.~~

But I can’t tell L about M and J. I promised. I feel bad but it’s not _him_ I’m not telling, it’s his _job_ I’m not telling. J did the same for me so I kind of owe him.

But yes. M AND J?! WTF.


	27. things you said through a closed door

“Shit,” Jack let go of her, zipping his pants back up. “Vic, wait!”          

“Damn,” Maya agreed, quickly buttoning her shirt.

“And I thought _my_ relationship was complicated,” came Vic’s voice from outside the door.

“Can you not – just get in here?” Jack hissed.

“Are you decent?”

Maya rolled her eyes and yanked the door open, pulling Vic in.

“I’m not judging,” Vic said quickly. “Just– don’t get hurt. Or hurt anyone.”

“Please don’t tell anyone. Especially Mr Hypothetical,” Jack asked.

“I’ll try not to,” she promised, before smirking. “You know, this works better when you remember to _lock_ the door?”


	28. things you said in the dark

Vic isn’t sure what woke her up, but Lucas is as stiff as a board in bed next to her.

“Luke?” she mumbles.

“Sorry I woke you,” his voice is choked. “Go back to sleep.”

“You didn’t,” she says. “Okay?”

“Nightmare,” he replies tersely.

“What do you need?” she rolls over, hovering in his personal space but not touching him.

There’s a long silence.

“You?” she can barely hear him.

“You have me,” she promises. “I’m here.” She feels him shift, and then he’s kissing her desperately. She can feel his heart hammering as he presses her into the bed.


	29. things you said in the rain

“We probably shouldn’t have laughed when she told us it was forecast to rain,” Travis said sheepishly, wrapping his arms around himself.

“I’m going to hear about this for the next week,” Ripley agrees with a groan. “But it _was_ sunny when we set out.”

Twenty minutes later the downpour had only intensified. Ripley sighed, pulling his phone out. Ten minutes later, a spray of water showered them again as a familiar red jeep pulled up at the curb. They piled their bikes into the back, and hopped into the warm cab.

“We love you?” Ripley offered a laughing Vic.


	30. things I wish you'd said

“You’ve been seeing my ex-boyfriend?” Andy asked incredulously. “How could you?”

“Well, neither of us thought you’d care given you’d moved on and haven’t seemed to care that Gibson’s got PTSD and been in therapy for six months!” Maya said angrily, shame tinging her words.

“Do you call him Gibson when you’re having sex?” Andy hissed.

“What do you call Sullivan?” Maya’s retort had the blood draining from Andy’s face. “Does Ryan know he’ll be replaced soon?”

“You’re the one sleeping with my ex!”

“You can’t reserve three guys at once!”

“I just wish one of you had told me.”


	31. things you said right before goodbye

Lucas looks tired, but he doesn’t look _too_ tired as he hops into bed, so Vic sidles over.

“Hiii,” she says with a grin, planting a little lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth. He chuckles at her.

“Hey yourself,” he replies, leaning down and kissing her back.

Things have just started to get interesting when his phone rings.

“You’re not even on call,” Vic whines.

“Sorry,” he sighs, grabbing his phone. “I’m not on call tonight – oh.” He looks over at her apologetically. She sighs too, but nods. “Sure. Be there in ten.”

“I’m sorry,” he says again.


	32. things you said right after hello

“Travis, hey, I didn’t know –” Vic opened the front door.

“Hey, Lucas,” he said instead, walking into her house. “Thanks, those new wheels were definitely worth it!.”

“Great–!” Lucas began enthusiastically.

Vic slammed the kettle down, and both men flinched.

 “Hi, Trav, how are you?” she asked sarcastically. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your date with my boyfriend.”

The two men exchanged uneasy glances.

“Sorry, Vic,” Travis said.

“I’m glad you guys get on, just, you could say hi,” Vic said.

“You know what they say; keep your friends close and your sister’s boyfriend closer,” Travis offered, smiling winningly.


	33. things you said from across the room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 33, 34, and 35 go together

“Oh god,” Travis murmured in alarm.

“What?” Maya looked up from her phone to see him watching the local news.

“Travis –?”

“Shhh,” he waved his hand urgently.

“ _The corruption hearings into the Mayor took a surprising turn as a key witness for the prosecution, Fire Chief Ripley, came under scrutiny for his relationship with a subordinate firefighter._ ”

“Wouldn’t have thought he was the type,” Maya said, looking over at Travis. “Wonder who it is?”

“Vic!” Travis ignored her. “GET IN HERE NOW!”

“What?” Vic wandered in.

“I’m sorry,” said Travis as her gaze went to the TV.

“Shit,” she swore.


	34. things you whispered in my ear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 33, 34 and 35 go together

It took all of six hours for someone in HR to leak her name to the press. Her team, however, had known after that first news report, and she felt exhausted from all the explanations.

She’d driven straight to his office after shift, and Kim had waved her straight in.

“I’m so sorry about this,” Vic’s never seen him look so defeated as he does now, slumped behind his desk. She goes straight around the desk, leaning over to hug him tightly.

“You’re worth more than this to me, Luke,” she says directly into his ear. “I have no regrets.”


	35. things you said at the top of your lungs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 33, 34, and 35 go together

“That’s it, I have put up with this for the last day and a half,” Lucas finally snapped. “My relationship is private. HR have been aware of it for the last five months. We have not committed any crimes.”

“This city has been singularly focussed on what they think is a sex scandal instead of an actual scandal: the misappropriation of tens of millions of dollars from Seattle’s budget.”

“Your lines of questioning guide the press’, and I am sick of this intrusion into my private life particularly when it’s coming at the expense of a proper inquiry into corruption.”


	36. things you said but didn't mean

“I can’t believe you slept with my best friend!” Andy shouted.

“Hang on,” Jack glared back at her. “You don’t get to be angry with me. You CHEATED on me with Tanner –!”

Andy flinched, but her anger kept her moving forward with the argument. “Are you trying to make a point or something? Make me jealous –?”

“Not everything’s about you, Andy,” Jack hissed. “This had _nothing_ to do with you. Since we broke up it’s like you erased our relationship; you haven’t given a damn about me.”

“Well I don’t give a damn about you two,” Andy retorted. "Do whatever."


	37. things you said through someone else

“You asshole,” Travis grabbed the front of Ripley’s grimy turnouts, ignoring the surprise from the rest of the team. “She might have bled to death because of you!”

“Settle down, Montgomery,” Sullivan stepped up, clearly worried Travis was going to punch the Chief. (He was very tempted).

“You made us wait when every second counted,” Travis continued, as their boss clenched his jaw.

“I can’t risk multiple lives for one person, Montgomery,” Ripley said tightly. “I’m the Chief.”

Travis glared at him. “By the way, she asked me to tell you she was in love with you.”

Ripley’s face crumpled.


	38. things you said when I was (you were) sick

Andy woke with a sudden roiling in her stomach, barely making it to the toilet before vomiting up what felt like a week’s worth of food. As the nausea passed, she got unsteadily to her feet and headed into the kitchen. She stopped dead when she saw Maya vomiting in the sink. Maya looked up to see her and froze.

They’d barely said two words to each other outside of work-related conversations in a week.

“The Chinese?” they asked simultaneously, exchanging weak smiles before Maya went green and vomited again.

Andy poured a glass of water, sliding it across. “Here.”


	39. things you forgot to say

“Hey,” a familiar voice sounds from the door and Robert looks up to see Ripley at the door. “How you going?”

“I didn’t want to die,” the words fall from his mouth, and he curses the pain meds.

“That’s okay,” Ripley said carefully, quickly masking a flash of surprise.

“I don’t want to be paralysed either.”

“That’s very reasonable.”

The conversation starts awkwardly, but soon they’re talking about his PT like there’s never been a cross word between them. It’s after Luke’s gone that Robert realises he never apologised for some of the awful things he’d said. Or thanked him.


	40. things you interrupted me to say

Lucas nudges her thigh, but Vic ignores him, leaning forward.

“All we’re saying, Dean, is you’re a grown man,” she complains. “It’s like, every few months you go back to sneaking your clothes into other people’s laundry!”

“There’s a new probie soon,” Travis says.

“No, that’s part of the problem,” Ben argues. “It perpetuates the cycle.”

“It’s a -” Vic starts, when Lucas nudges her again. “What, Luke?”

“You going to finish that?” he points to her plate. She slides it over to him.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” Lucas says, fork already halfway to his mouth.

“It’s a rite of passage,” Vic continues.


	41. things you said when he was dying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't resist this one scene.

"Wish this was under better circumstances," says his sister as Dr Pierce comes over. She fills them in on Lucas' condition, and Vic can't quite breathe.

"We'll need someone to provide consent. He can't right now," Dr Pierce’s gaze flickers between the two of them apprehensively.

"No offence, Victoria," Jennifer's firm. "But you've known him seven months. I'm his  _sister_."

It hurts, actually, because it might be seven months but it’s also hopefully the rest of her life. But Vic’s fully aware that as his secret girlfriend, she has no rights. So she nods, and watches his sister walk away.

 


	42. things you said when I came home

She was talking animatedly to Montgomery as they entered the barn. It took a moment for Vic to see him.

The force of her embrace knocked him back a step, and Lucas wrapped his arms around her tightly, desperate to feel every inch of her body against his. He buried his face in her neck, breathing her in deeply.

“You look better,” she said into his chest.

“All the better for having you home,” he didn’t care that it sounded sappy. He pulled back a bit to look into her eyes. “I missed–“

Then her lips were on his hungrily.


	43. things that can't be talked about

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not putting this into Flashpoints or into Exposure so it comes here.

It was six months before she could even start to think about touching Lucas’ things. The first to go was his toothbrush, because it was gross to keep it.

His books she tucked into her bookshelf. His dilapidated sneakers she donated. His clothes she boxed one rainy afternoon, sliding the boxes under her bed. She let herself keep out his 88 crew shirt and his green sweater. The sweater to wear, and pretend he was holding her. The shirt to smell.

She met Jennifer at his house, both crying. They held hands as Vic unlocked the door with her key.


	44. things I can never say to you

She makes it through the service, just. Travis finds her and Jennifer bawling together afterwards.

"I never told him he was the love of my life," she gasps when she sees Travis. "I told you but I never told him. I never said that I hated his ratty dressing gown. I never told him he gave the best hugs of anyone ever. I never told him…” she can’t continue.

“You told him you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him,” Travis says firmly.

“He knew you loved him,” adds Jennifer. “He loved you.”

Vic can only sob.


	45. things you said at his funeral

He approaches them on crutches after the funeral, a beautiful and heavily pregnant woman on his arm.

“I’m Captain Ted Conlin,” he says, more to Jennifer. Vic can’t quite look at him; instead, she stares past his right shoulder. “Um. The Chief saved my life.”

“I’m so grateful for my husband,” his wife says, in tears, and Vic hates her. Hates her for having a husband when her not-husband is in a coffin. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s a boy,” Ted says. “Can…I’d like to call him Lucas.”

Vic hums. She can’t bring herself to approve.

“Of course,” Jennifer says.


	46. things you said after you died

There were twenty-three. She foolishly listened to three at once before realising she needed to ration them.

“Voicemails. Save them,” she pleads, thrusting the phone in tech-savvy Dean’s face.

Dean takes her phone, returning it an hour later with the voicemails as mp3 files, his eyes red. [She emails the files to herself, saves them to her cloud, burns them to a CD].

Vic listens to them every night, a new one every two days.

She gets to the last one, “I hope at least they make you laugh, see you soon, Eggy.”

Laughing’s the last thing she can do.


	47. things you said at midnight

Robert glimpses it in her locker, and wants to cry.

It’s an 88 crew shirt, carefully kept in a Ziploc bag that’s had all the air meticulously pressed out.

Months pass. He forgets about it until one night he heads to the locker/laundry room. She’s sitting on one of the benches at midnight, Ziploc bag open the barest fraction, smelling the shirt.

“He slept in it the night before he died,” she says, not bothering to hide the tears. “I haven’t washed it.”

Robert sits next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, and his eyes well up.


	48. things you sang under pressure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ch 48-50 are just some pre 216 fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Barrett & Brett's off-screen duets

Robert’s dragged the team out to a performance bar. After a few rounds, he goes to the bar and gives them Lucas’ name.

“You’re next to play, Luke,” he announces a few (bad) performances later.

“No,” his friend replies automatically.

“Oh go on,” laughs Hughes, as Robert had hoped she would.

“No,” Luke says with weakening resolve.

“Please?” she shamelessly bats her eyes at him.

“ _I’m_ not that good a singer.”

Hughes rolls her eyes. “Fine, I’ll come with you, you baby.”

Their rendition of _Umbrella_ is off the cuff, Rip messes up the lyrics, but their voices soar together.


	49. things we said in an alternative (better) universe

Vic lights up as Ripley slings his arm around her shoulders, singing, “ _I know who I want to take me hoooome_.”

“You’re so cheesy,” she said.

“You’re so cute,” he retorted, kissing her cheek. “Come play pool with me.”

“You want your ass kicked?”

“Oh-ho, you’re gonna kick my ass? Eggy, I’ll _teach_ you to play!” laughing, they stumble to the nearby table.

Vic wins, more because Ripley’s clearly wasted, and staring at her. At closing time, Travis is unsurprised he has to throw water on them to get them to stop making out and get in the damn taxi.


	50. things you said you were embarrassed about

Vic looked terribly proud of herself as she taped something up in her locker.

“Whatcha doing?” asked Dean.

“Jennifer found something for me,” she replied.

“Who’s Jennifer?” asked Andy.

“Does Ripley know you have a photo of a mostly-naked man up in your locker?” Jack asked with a laugh.

“He does, and he’s _very_ unhappy his sister had a copy of 2003's firefighter calendar, which he was in because he lost a bet,” Vic said proudly.

“Holy cow, that’s _Ripley_? Damn, he's hot Vic,” exclaimed Maya, leaning closer to see a younger Ripley wearing only a strategically positioned fire helmet.


	51. things I didn't want to talk about

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I of III

Vic’s not sure she wants one at first.

She’s worried it would just a tacky way of advertising her grief; and the thought of explaining such a thing to anyone who sees it hurts more than a little.

Besides, what could she possibly get?

But the thought stays at the back of her mind.

Twelve months later, the grief is different; a steady, constant, background ache to everything she does. She thinks of him every day. She misses him every single day. Missing him is no less intense – but she’s used to it, and it doesn’t overwhelm her any more.


	52. things I said in writing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> II of III

In fact, the thought of Lucas is a comfort. She imagines what he would say, how he would respond, what he would think.

So Vic decides she wants one. A physical representation of him. Not to remember him by – he forever holds the centre of her heart – but to touch and pretend he’s there.

And it does hurt when, at breakfast, Travis notices and reaches for her left hand.

“Vic,” he says, choking up, rubbing a thumb gently over the black ring tattooed on her ring finger.

He can’t see the numbers _1743_ tattooed on the inside of her finger.


	53. things I said that you understood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> III of III

Charlie’s nice. They’re friends for four years before he asks her out, so he knows all about Lucas.

Jennifer’s supportive, and Vic’s beyond grateful. Jen likes Charlie, in fact, and says Lucas would be happy that Vic was moving on. (They’re drunk and crying for _that_ conversation).

She doesn’t cover up the tattoo with Charlie’s ring. Instead, Charlie’s ring goes on the right ring finger. Whenever anyone asks, Vic replies that her first husband stays on her ‘real’ ring finger because if Lucas was still alive, she wouldn’t be with Charlie.

(Charlie’s more understanding about that than Vic probably deserves).


End file.
